Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
