Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
