I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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