Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
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