His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
