your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
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