i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Moan for me like Helen Keller
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
