stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
