You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
