i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
