I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
