I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Randomize
