Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
