His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
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