Pappa wants mamma naked
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
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