she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Randomize
