Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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