dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
