Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Me too!
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
