bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
