weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
i black out too much to be "responsible"
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize
