clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
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