well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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