just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
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