physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
