I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
