where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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