this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
I'm at about main and main street
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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