Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Randomize
