If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
