A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
