Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
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