i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
whose parrot is this?
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
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