Dual....:-)
A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
