haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
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