Fine. I'll sleep in my office
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
