anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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