Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
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