I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize