i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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