hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Randomize
