im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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