I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
