it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Randomize
