I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
