Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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