i'm signing you up for texting rehab
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Randomize
