...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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