ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
