oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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