sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
