Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Those nachos came to me in a dream
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
Randomize
