So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
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