marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Randomize
