I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
