Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
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