oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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