I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Randomize
