Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
