You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
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