I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
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