im about as happy as oj after his trial
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
