fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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