the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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