Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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