"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Randomize
