Please, let me fuck your mom
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Randomize
